Lenses360 Fiction: FINDING BAE by courage MBON

EPISODE 0NE

Monday has never been my favourite day of the week, but this Monday was different. I waited all my life for this Monday. It was going to be my first day at work. I had set the alarm clock to 5am, but at 1am, I was already awake. I tried to sleep again but sleep eluded me. I was too excited to sleep again so I picked up my phone and dialled Ima’s number. The clock on the wall ticked away second after second, and for a moment, I thought it was too slow. I stared at the giant time piece and wondered how many more ticks on the calibration will bring daylight. I terminated the call after a moment and scolded myself for being so selfish. Ima was probably fast asleep and it was insensitive to disturb her. I got up from the bed and walked over to my reading table, I picked the phone again and googled “How to behave on your first day at work”. Just as the search engine displayed the search result options, the phone rang. The ring tune was Tubaba’s “Implication” and I couldn’t resist nodding my head to the rhythmic beats for a moment before taking the call.

“Was that a call or a flash?” her voice cooed from the other side “I’m so sorry dear, did I wake you?” “No Sir! It takes more than a flash to wake an Eket girl” “You no well o! see, I didn’t flash you.” “What then did you do? Abegi!” I smiled to myself as I attempted an explanation. “Ima, I can’t sleep! I woke up some thirty minutes ago and sleep has just refused to locate my eyelids” she laughed softly and coughed mockingly before asking me to force it! “Fake it till you make it! Close your eyes! Practice sleep till it becomes real!” “Ima you know you’re such a scum abi?” “Hian! What have I done again mbok?” “Na for my head you wan form Myles Monroe abi?” she laughed again, this time, a little more louder and I feared she’d wake her neighbours. “foolish girl” I said for want of what to say “Enh… I gree! Sensible boy! No go sleep you hear? Good luck explaining to your boss why you’re sleeping on your first day at work!” I wanted to say something but the line went off. I sighed as I put the phone away.

Imaobong was the oldest friend I could remember. She was the troublesome daughter of our family friend – Uncle Tony. Anthony Okon was an oil worker and single father who lived down the yard with his little daughter and a maid – Eno. Imaobong’s mum died some years back while giving birth to Ima and Uncle Tony had refused to remarry. Ima had everything she wanted and anyone who dared to “touch” Ima was sure to answer to Uncle Tony. This made Ima arrogant and troublesome and other kids in the yard didn’t find it funny.  Time and again, the boys planned to beat her up, but whenever she showed up, the plans would vanish from their heads! Even the most vocal boys would simply smile and stroll away the moment Ima shows up. One morning, Etim, the street bully made up his mind to settle issues with Ima “Once and for all”. Etim’s favourite past time was harassing other children in the street and no one dared to challenge him. Every evening, parents will take their children with a swollen eye or bleeding nostrils to their compound to complain about Etim’s brutality. His parents would caution him or beat him up in front of the offended parents and promptly apologize for his behaviour. Etim usually would come out hardened and determined to wreck more havoc. It was a Tuesday afternoon and children were on their way back from school. Etim saw a girl walking down the road with a packet of biscuits. “My friend come here! Give me that biscuit or I beat you!” the frightened girl cried and struggled with Etim until Imaobong showed up. “Give back her biscuits now!” she spoke with such boldness that startled Etim, and scared the other kids. Etim was still contemplating what to do when Ima snatched the biscuits from him and gave back to the owner.  Thereafter, she held the girl by the hand and walked away. Etim’s scorn was massive. The other children laughed and mocked at him till he got home. That evening, Etim swore to “Show” Imaobong that he was Lord of the street. Same evening, Imaobong went to buy akara from Eka mmandu, and Etim Accosted her. “Eeeshhh! Small girl!” he yelled at her. “Was that me?” Ima asked angrily. “What will you do?” Etim asked, stepping closer to her “Enh? What will you do?” he raised his right arm up and threatened Ima “If I hear kpim from you, I’ll deal with you” “Kpim” Ima screamed Etim attempted to slap Ima but she caught the hand half way. What followed cannot possibly be explained. In less than a minute, Etim was on the ground and Imaobong was giving him a generous amount of fist blows.  Five minutes later, Imaobong walked away from the scene like a boss. Etim was still on the ground with a swollen face and a bruised ego. There and then, Imaobong became the legend of our street!

Today, two decades on, Imaobong is still as fierce and fearless as she was then. We have been called lovers, siblings, rivals and all what nots, but Imaobong calls me “twinnie” even though I’m two years older than her. Time and again, we’ve been asked why we aren’t dating and our uniform response has always been the ridiculous retort “We’re too close, we know too much about each other, it won’t work!”  

 I rolled in bed restlessly until I fell asleep. I had barely closed my eyes when the alarm went off. I stretched lazily on the bed and made to get up but the bed won’t let me up. I rolled lazily for a while before cautioning myself and promptly jumping out of the bed into the bathroom. At 6:15am, I was already on my way to work. I said a silent prayer as I entered the bus and made a sign of the cross. Today must be blessed for my sake!

[…to be continued]